TCF Regional Conference

Horseshoe crafts

We’ve been doing some crafts lately. Making some pretty horseshoes.

We’ll be going to the Frankfort Compassionate Friends regional conference this coming weekend. The people attending the conference will receive a gift bag. I don’t know what all will be in that bag, but I do know it will have a real nice horseshoe.

The idea of a conference for people that have lost a child just seems so wrong.

But there are a bunch of us out there.

The conference is named “Remembering, Helping, Healing.” I know all of us grieving parents need those things.

Maybe I’ll see you there.


5 responses to “TCF Regional Conference”

  1. Hi Alice – it was nice to meet you too. I’m sorry for what brought us there, but thanks for sharing your story. You give us newbie grievers hope.

  2. I have a horseshoe from that conference the first I ever attended….Adam had been gone just a few months I was mentioned by one of the speakers as the newbie there and I remember that complete strangers hugged me. Tomorrow July 4th he will have been gone 10 months this is another first for me because he loved fireworks and would go to Lenox to watch them even in the driving rain some years. I have lived through the first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentines and his birthday, he would have been 25 on May 19th of this year. I’m not sure how I have lived through these events or if I want to live through them again but the days pass and I keep breathing. THose who wished me well have long faded into the background and only one woman keeps check on me now a duty she will never give up I feel for the rest of my days and yet we hardly knew each other when Adam died she truly is an angel on earth because she has kept me sane some days just by listening or holding me when I cried. She even attended a grief group with me every Tuesday afer a long day at the office rain or shine she was there to support me. Other close friends have disappeared who knows where into a puff of smoke I no longer exist in there world just as Adam has vanished from mine and yet he exists every second of every day I long for him.. I have two other children I adore them and spend time now worrying about their death and if and when I will also lose them how sad and sick is that. If they don’t call me I panic, if they don’t answer their phone I panic. Drugs, talking, drinking even smoking for a few months at 52 when I had never smoked before all crutches to support me as I hobble through what is now my life…..On my sidetable is a horseshoe a symbol of hope thanks God for it…..

  3. Hi Trudy – I think we met. I believe Debbie met you in the hallway of the hotel the first night and we shared a table that next morning.

    I’ve wondered about you. We are both close to the same spot in this journey and our sons were close to the same age.

    I’m glad you’ve found a true friend to help when you need it. We’ve been blessed with a strong supportive family, but I don’t talk about this with too many people.

    Debbie goes to most of The Compassionate Friends meetings. It seems to help her.

    We’re having a brick placed for Richard at their memorial garden in Frankfort later this month. They’ll be having a ceremony and get together.

    I’m glad the horseshoe gives you some comfort.

    Stay in touch.

  4. Hi Trudy
    I remember you and our night out in front of the hotel puffing on cigarettes, crying and just trying to help each other understand the what brought us together. I still don’t understand, I don’t think I ever will. But I am thankful to have the support of family and friends around me. I will never be the same, I know what you mean about the worries and concerns over your other children.
    Richard was 22 when he died. He was the joy of my life. Learning to live knowing he is no longer here is a daily struggle. I do what the “Grandmother of Grief” says and just get myself up in the morning and take one step at a time to get through.
    I talk about him too. A lot!
    It helps to have support of friends and I am glad you have someone. Are you going to any of the Compassionate Friends meeting? They don’t have answers either, they are looking for them too. But they are always ready to listen or lend a shoulder and box of tissues when needed.
    I have thought about you often since the conference, wondered how you are. Just remember you are not alone. We are all apart of a nightmare that never ends; we just manage to make it through each day one step at a time.
    Take care of yourself and keep in touch. Maybe we will meet again and talk over a glass of wine (or your beverage of choice) and a cigarette.

    Debbie Mudd

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